


Tomorrow

by LusciousDean



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, PAINFUL😢, This fic will hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:02:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29861271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LusciousDean/pseuds/LusciousDean
Summary: Bucky has feelings bubbling inside of him that he cannot contain. What happens when he says how he feels?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 15





	Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I’m back with more angst. Okay.. I promise the next story will be fluff... maybe. Alright, hope you like it!

Bucky was comin’ down from a high that was like no other. Best part was, he didn’t need any sort of drug or anonymous substance to make him feel the way he was feeling. He wished the feeling would stay forever. He knew it wouldn’t, though. Bucky looked over to Steve, the purest smile on his face. 

He realized a long time ago that the way he was feeling wasn’t considered “normal”. Having feelings for a fella was frowned upon.. well, a little more than frowned upon. That’s why he didn’t tell a soul. He, like a fool, prayed these feelings would leave him, but to no avail. Things weren’t changing, so he found ways to deal with it. If he glanced a bit too long or hugged a second more than normal, that was his business and no one else’s. 

Oftentimes he’d walk into their bathroom and wash his face off with water, as if the water could wash away the feelings that had been festering deep inside of him since he was 14 years of age. He told himself every single day that he was a damn lucky man to even have Steve as a friend and that he should stop wishing for more.

Recently, it had gotten to be just too much for him to handle on his own. Being around Steve everyday, Bucky swore it would be the death of him. He’d slipped up a few times, almost spilling his thoughts and along with it, his feelings. He always caught himself though. Bucky had become an amazing liar. 

Tonight was different. Steve and Bucky were sitting on the roof of their apartment, crisp autumn air blowing the red and orange leaves on the trees. Bucky couldn’t think of a better time to tell Steve.. well.. everything. He shook his head at the thought. He knew how it would turn out for him if he told Steve what he had been dwelling on. 

“Hey, Buck. Whatcha thinkin’?” Steve questioned Bucky, knowing what Bucky looked like when in deep thought.

“Oh.. uhm.. nothin’, Stevie. It’s nothin’.” Bucky concluded, voice shaking slightly. 

Bucky was petrified. Scared he’d slip up again and not be able to fix it this time. He sighed and steve turned his body towards Bucky. Steve gave Bucky a look that seemed to say ‘tell me what’s wrong or i’ll be mad at you the rest of the night’. 

“Steve. Seriously. It’s nothin’.” Bucky huffed, annoyed that Steve was prodding, not like it was unusual or anything though.

“I don’t believe you. Tell me what it is.” Steve shook his head and set his cold hand on top of Bucky’s.

Bucky pulled his hand back quickly and got up. He felt his emotions filling to the brim. He knew he would have to leave soon if he wanted to make it out of this conversation unscathed. Steve got up after him and walked in front of him, as if he was getting ready to say something. 

“Steve! Seriously. Leave it. I don’t need you on my ass, I’m fine. I swear it.” Bucky snapped, looking at Steve angrily.

“Oh, so is that it? Me caring about my best friend is me being on your ass? Just let me care about you for once!” Steve shouted, wheezing a bit at the end of the sentence. 

Bucky gave Steve a concerned look but Steve waved it off. Despite them being in an argument, Bucky’s protective nature was still full force. Bucky softened slightly and Steve walked over to him, gently setting his hand on Bucky’s arm.

“I need you to talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong, Buck.” Steve spoke in a careful and calm voice. 

As if on cue, Bucky’s walls came tumbling down. He bit his lip as his eyes watered, looking away to the beautiful leaves on the trees in an attempt to distract himself. He knew he couldn’t tell Steve. He just couldn’t. Although, he wasn’t sure he could stop himself at this point. Suddenly everything he’d been afraid of happening began. A tear fell from his eye and biting his lip was no longer stopping himself from crying.

“Stevie, I— I can’t tell you. Just can’t.” Bucky shook, hoping somehow that he’d be able to get himself out of this conversation.

“Buck, I’m here for ya. No matter what. Till the end of the line, right? Doesn’t matter what you gotta tell me. I’ll be here.” Steve spoke gently, wary of Bucky’s shaken state. 

Then, Bucky felt like a machine. As if he couldn’t control himself, god forbid. He wanted to stop himself. He wanted to run, run as fast as his legs could, flee to somewhere that he’d never be found. Sadly, life doesn’t work that way. He knew that. Before he knew it, he was opening his mouth, tears streaming.

“I love you.” 

Steve looked at him for a moment, blank faced. He shook his head for a moment, then turned to Bucky confused. 

Steve loved Bucky, of course, but not in the way Bucky did. Steve felt horrible, he prayed an anxiety induced asthma attack would not interrupt them. Steve wasn’t sure how to tell him. His best friend since childhood, through and through. He forced himself to keep his eyes focused on Bucky. His best friend. His best friend that had tears and snot running down his face, waiting for an answer to which would change his life no matter what.

“Buck— oh Buck... I don’t— I can’t..“ Steve struggled to get the words out. 

Bucky looked sick to his stomach. Steve supported Bucky regardless of the situation, but he didn’t think Bucky could handle Steve hugging him and telling him it was going to be okay because he himself was the reason that it wouldn’t be. 

“I get it. I’m so— so sorry Stevie.” Bucky’s voice sounded mangled, broken. It sounded so fragile, nothing Steve had ever heard before. 

Steve would have cried right there, but he knew Bucky always put Steve’s emotions before his own. Bucky scratched the back of his neck and sniffled, then began walking away. Steve looked at Bucky walking away, tears now pooling in his own eyes.

“James— wait. I’m sorry.” Steve mumbled and Bucky smiled a pained smile.

“See ya tomorrow, punk.” Bucky’s voice cracked, then he disappeared from the top of the building. 

Steve stood and tears began to fall. Emotions ranging from sadness to anger ran through him. Angry that Bucky hadn’t told him sooner, angry he couldn’t recuperate the feelings. Sad to see Bucky more broken than he had ever been. Sad that he couldn’t make Bucky stop hurting. 

Eventually, Steve went back down to his mother’s apartment. He fell into his mother’s arms and cried. He didn’t tell her why. He didn’t need to. 

Bucky, on the other hand, went to the gym. He beat the shit out of a punching bag until his knuckles bled. He stumbled into an alley and bursted into tears once again. He sobbed until he cried himself to sleep, so tired of everything that had happened.

Bucky woke up the next day and walked himself back to his parent’s apartment. He showered and put on new clothes, walking to Steve’s and knocking on the door. If there was one thing Bucky stayed true to, it was his word. He told Steve he’d see him tomorrow, so he did. Every single tomorrow after that, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading.. really. It means a lot to me. I love seeing feedback that I have gotten recently, it really does motivate me. I hope you liked this story. Until next time!


End file.
